Purple Elephant Attacker Caught!

Oakville, ON

Local police have reported that a suspect in the Purple Elephant attack is now in their custody after being turned in by a man claiming to be the suspects own father.

"Is there a reward or something? You won't tell my wife, right?" the suspects father was quoted as saying. Police are said to be considering DNA tests to confirm the fathers claims as they feel the child is obviously more intelligent and much better looking than the so-called father (although they did report that he 'drives like a demon').

"She takes after her mother," he was quoted as saying after initial questioning. "Why is that big cop staring at me?"

Police hope to have the case wrapped up soon.

P.s. The link to the video in that last post is finally working. The police are to blame and NOT the suspects father who manages the blog.